What am I waiting for?

Psalm 39:7 – And now, O LORD, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.

I love looking forward – to the weekend, to plans with a friend, to payday, to Summer weather 🙂 I try to stay in the moment, but if I’m honest I’m often planning ahead and thinking about what comes next.

In Psalm 39, David is reflecting on how quickly life passes – verse 6 says We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing – but his response is not despair, it is turning to God in that moment.

As I look forward in time, I imagine that walking with God will get easier, that barriers will pass away – I’d love to work part time and be free to volunteer more. As Torre gets older and more independent, I’m able to go to conferences again to be encouraged and challenged. If we lived closer to family and friends I love the idea of sharing life and meals more often, having playdates and praying together. It’s easy to get caught up in imagining how different circumstances could make life just wonderful, but then what do we have to show for it?

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Sabbath Rest

This morning I had the rare opportunity to relax at home before heading to church. It’s strange to think how rare it is, but reality is that Sunday mornings are usually rushed as we head to church. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve brewed coffee only to forget it on the counter, how often we skip breakfast or just buy something from Tim’s because we’d rather trade extra sleep for a relaxed morning at home.

Today was different because I went to bed early AND didn’t need to be at church until 10 am, so I had a whole window of time in which everyone was awake, fed and dressed, but it simply wasn’t time to go. I sat on my couch and savoured my coffee and listened to worship music and… rested.

Forgive me for being so stunned at the peaceful gift it was to simply relax and enjoy a morning off on the Sabbath.

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Ash Wednesday

It is Ash Wednesday, and my bones are aching with a flu.

One resource I was reading says, Ash Wednesday emphasizes a dual encounter: we confront our own mortality and confess our sin before God within the community of faith. The form and content of the service focus on the dual themes of sin and death in the light of God’s redeeming love in Jesus Christ.

It may be melodramatic, but it’s also very satisfying to be sick on this day for contemplation and reflection on mortality.

My reading for the day was Luke 18:9-14

[Jesus] told his next story to some who were complacently pleased with themselves over their moral performance and looked down their noses at the common people: “Two men went up to the Temple to pray, one a Pharisee, the other a tax man. The Pharisee posed and prayed like this: ‘Oh, God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, crooks, adulterers, or, heaven forbid, like this tax man. I fast twice a week and tithe on all my income.’ “Meanwhile the tax man, slumped in the shadows, his face in his hands, not daring to look up, said, ‘God, give mercy. Forgive me, a sinner.’” Jesus commented, “This tax man, not the other, went home made right with God. If you walk around with your nose in the air, you’re going to end up flat on your face, but if you’re content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself.”

I must confess that there have been times I have come into God’s presence to congratulate myself for being righteous.

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