I was thinking the other day whether Torre is at an advantage or disadvantage in being my first child. As a plus, he gets much more undivided attention than kids with siblings, everything he does is new and exciting and amazing because we’ve never seen a baby learn to walk or climb before. I have pretty high self-esteem and I’m sure much of that comes from the support and positive reinforcement I have enjoyed throughout my life from family and friends. Hopefully the same is true for Torre growing up – I want him to absorb all the amazement that we feel towards him and internalize it to always know that he is precious.
However, as the oldest, Torre is exposed to my least polished-by-motherhood self: my most selfish, most anxious, most inexperienced version of parenting. Obviously I’m doing my best, but I feel like I will improve and grow with time and experience, and any future children we have will benefit from that. Maybe I’m over-optimistic about the trajectory my personal growth is on, but I do think he’s at a disadvantage in this sense. I thank God he’s so resilient and cheerful and forgiving even after moments when I don’t have the emotional stamina to put his wants before mine (he wants to be in my arms to see what’s happening up on the counter, while I want supper to get made so I’m not hangry). For what it’s worth, I think I do pretty well at putting his needs before my needs, but I feel like this can only digress into insecure ramblings. I’m a good mom, but I could be better, let’s move on.
Read more ...
This video captures a social experiment: a hidden camera records how people respond to the sight of a shivering child (don’t worry, he’s an actor) with no coat at a bus stop is Oslo, Norway. The goal is to raise awareness and funds for a campaign to provide coats to Syrian children. The idea is that in the winter time, displaced children in Syria need coats just as much as this young boy, even if you don’t see them shivering.
By the end of the video I had tears streaming down my face, which was no surprise since I have come to terms with how motherhood has changed me.
I went back to work this week, which meant I blasted through this book during my commute! It was a great read for the subway – short chapters and not too in-depth, plus it’s a very relevant topic for the week of Valentine’s Day The Happy Wives Club was an idea that Fawn Weaver came up with after feeling discouraged by how marriage is portrayed in the media and how it is treated by our culture in general. She was happily married, but it seemed that at every turn she was bombarded with the message that it was only a matter of time before everything unravelled. www.HappyWivesClub.com is an upbeat blog dedicated to positively changing the tone about marriage around the world. It began with Fawn’s invitation to a few close friends who passed the invite along and has now grown to include over 600 000 members (her goal is a million!).
The book Happy Wives Club chronicles Fawn’s travels through over 18 cities on 6 continents to meet and interview happy wives to learn their marriage secrets. These women come from different backgrounds, have different histories and lifestyles, but so much of their advice boils down to the same principles; happy marriages do not happen by accident. Fawn is a great storyteller, and I have a bit of an itch to travel after reading about the exotic cities she experienced, but even more interesting than reading about the food, architecture, history and smells of her travels is the refreshing perspective that all around the world there are marriages that really work: husbands and wives who laugh together, encourage each other, support one another and go to bed happy at the end of each day together.