NFP is NOT the Rhythm Method (Part 1)

I have been wanting to write a post on Natural Family Planning (NFP) for some time now but always put it off. I think deep down a tiny part of me was terrified that Matt and I were unknowingly infertile and that writing a smarmy know-it-all post about why NFP rocks would come back to bite me when it turned out we weren’t actually successfully timing anything around my fertility, we just couldn’t make babies.

Happily (and miraculously! Goodness it’s amazing), we have conceived a child, and although that positive pregnancy test was very surreal, it was not a big surprise. That doesn’t mean I want to get smarmy and know-it-all, but it does help me feel at least capable of sharing what a blessing it has been to me personally and in my marriage to learn and use this approach to family planning for the last two and half years. The story gets a little long though, so I am dividing it into three parts. I hope you enjoy!

[Part I – the Pill]
When Matt and I got married in August 2009, I was on the Pill. However, things quickly went a little nuts. That is to say, I went nuts. From the point that we arrived home from our wonderful honeymoon to Christmas when we made the switch to NFP, I was more or less a basket case. I was trying so hard to be a Wife (which meant keep the house clean, cook meals, shop, do laundry, put out), but work and school were taking up a lot of my time and required really early mornings. This meant most afternoons found me overwhelmed by Everything I Need to Accomplish before Matt got home so we could have time to relax together in the evening before I went to bed at a decent hour. I coped by watching TV or multitasking with the TV on, both of which had the same result of nothing getting done for hours. Matt came home and I felt like a failure; I cried. Matt felt like a failure for having a wife who was always crying; he asked if there was anything he could do. I said no because I wanted to do everything so that I’d be a good wife. Matt hid in the living room of our open concept basement apartment while I crashed dishes around in the kitchen.

That Winter it occurred to me that I might be depressed, and I decided to talk to my doctor about it. I asked Matt if he’d agree that I was crying 2-3 times a week (I wanted something concrete to tell my doctor, not just “I feel sad and overwhelmed”). He suggested nervously that 4-5 times a week might be more accurate. I knew that the Pill could have emotional side effects, but I had been on it for so long before our wedding without noticing a change that I didn’t really think it was the reason I was falling apart. I wanted to cover all my bases though, so Matt and I decided I’d go off the Pill for a bit and see if it made any difference. In December I finished my last pack of Pills and waited to see what would happen.

To be continued….

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Parallels | Moving With GodMoving With God 21-01-2013, 13:26

[…] but it is also a huge adjustment, and even though I didn’t really confide in anyone about how I was going crazy, it could have been helpful to have someone around who was adapting to a similar change. Now that I […]

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