I have noticed a great big difference in how I experience weddings since being married myself. They are wonderful reminders of the excitement and hope, even idealism, that marked the beginning of my life together with Matt. Weddings can be daunting as well as inspiring – listening to the vows couples make and hearing the speeches of loved ones who support and believe in them is a reminder of the weighty commitment that marriage is.

Marriage is a big deal because it is about so much more than love. I was reminded of this earlier today reading a blog for singles that reliably entertains and challenges me. It has done a great deal of good for me as a married lady because this often-repeated advice by the author, Seraphic, applies to all women who want to remain sane, not just the singles: stay rooted in reality. But I digress.

Today, Seraphic blogged about Scotland (where she lives) being in the process of redefining marriage:

Belief that marriage is not a union of one man and one woman but the union of one adult to another adult as long as they love each other in a sexual way is a religious belief. And the god being worshipped is Eros, which activists keep calling “love.”

“Marriage,” emoted Seraphic, blitzed on red wine, at a dinner party to a member of the Scottish National Party, “is not about love. It is about a man and a woman in an economic, sexual and social bond for their good, the good of children, and the good of society in general.”

…Those who wish to redefine marriage keep talking about “love.” “Love” sounds great, for surely only nasty, bitter people are not moved by love.

But there is less talk about what marriage does for society, and the role of married men and women, whether or not they have their own kids, as parents in, and of, that society. To deny that married men and women have a unique and important role in society–something we recognize with the word “marriage”–is to tell a serious lie about society and men and women.”

This is much bigger-picture than I had originally been thinking, but I agree, and I appreciate how it sums up a few different strands of thought that have been drifting around in my brain. I think when marriage is at its best it is good for the couple, for their family, and for society, and that goodness goes beyond the warm fuzziness of erotic (in the Greek sense) love even though we don’t talk about it as much. It is easy to say that marriage takes work and it’s not always fun and that love is a choice, but only actually being married has made it sink in for me.

I guess that’s what really strikes me when I go to weddings now, remembering my own wedding day when I knew I didn’t know exactly what I was signing up for but knowing that it was good and right.
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